It seems I’m being tested these days. Nothing like dealing with bureaucratic, red tape and general chaos at the Indian Consulate in DC, to completely undo any strides I’ve made in attempting to stay on this journey to joyful and vibrant. Instead, I find myself completely unhinged, swearing like a sailor, and either raging in indignation or dissolving into tears of utter helplessness! Yes, all this in search of a simple Visa to travel to India. The last straw for me was when the folks at the so called “Help Desk,” couldn’t answer my queries and instead of attempting to even pretend to search for answers to my questions, simply hung up on me…twice! So now I wait with fists clenched, slowly YANKING out one strand of hair at a time OR I suppose, I could attempt the slow climb back to sanity and my usual Zen demeanor!! Ok, my weak attempts at Zen like calm!

Seriously though, I’m surprised by the intensity of the emotion I experienced, and the utter impotence I felt in the face of this abject inefficiency.  It’s frustrating, sad and a little frightening that while the Indian consulate has “outsourced” it’s visa/passport process, it seems to have imported all the gross inefficiencies, redundancies and mindless bureaucracy to this country as well! A painful reminder of some of the many reasons I left my country of origin and a sad reminder of why this wonderful country, filled with an incredibly intelligent, capable and entrepreneurial spirit seems stymied at every turn. But perhaps my anger serves to mask the deep love and sorrow I feel for the country I left behind.

This lament should also be a reminder that the next time you complain about your local DMV or insurance company, just remember that it’s probably a walk in the park compared to applying for and Indian Visa!!!! And a further reminder, Moodi friends, that the road to a joyful, vibrant life is littered with the experience of loss, and a gamut of other emotions. So now I’m going to go slather on some Lavender Body Butter and inhale deeply as I attempt to calm myself and move on, and hope that I get my Visa before my date of departure.

Jai Ho!!