A Mother's Day Tribute: My Mom Dolores "The Crazy Lady!" by Maureen Rockhill

in Vibrant Living Blog
Dolores, Babe, Liz, Mom, Aunt Dolores, Grandma, Dolo, D-lo, The Great Defender, and of course The Crazy Lady. All of these are nicknames for my mom. She has inherited many names over the years and we still laugh about “The Crazy Lady”. Was she crazy?  Perhaps she was, a little. Crazy for having 5 kids, many dogs, birds, hamsters, bunnies, and lots of nieces nephews and friends all running through her house. Who wouldn't be a little crazy?  But she was mostly crazy about her 5 kids. And she dedicated her life to our care and well being and happiness. And because of it, we are filled with so many wonderful and funny and sad and heartfelt moments that, to say things were a little crazy is probably an understatement. 
Growing up I was a mamas girl. Anyone who knew me can attest to that. I can still remember feeling a love so strong for her that it would actually scare me. I can remember thinking how lost I would be without her and how I never wanted to let go of her warm embrace. I would often check on her to make sure she was still there because ... Well... She was my whole world. Not only did I know at a very early age that no one could ever take her place, there was also no one who would ever love me like she did.  She was so beautiful. Her loving smiles, her butter soft skin, her scent, and the way she took on the world for us yet was still so gentle and kind. And when anyone was ever mean to her, it would literally hurt me. I could not imagine anyone ever wanting to hurt my mom because I knew her and I knew her heart, she would do anything for anyone. 
And this feeling lasted for me over the years. Even though I did reach that point every kid reaches where I realized that she was not a superhero, but simply a person. Someone who made mistakes and was just trying to make her way in the world, the best she knew how. However, even with that, there was never a time in my life that I didn't admire something about her. 
I loved spending time with her and still do. 
Some of our best memories are simple times. Barbecues in the back yard, vacations at the shore, Sunday dinners with our grandparents, holidays with our cousins, sledding and coming home to tomato soup and grilled cheese, so many wonderful home cooked meals, baking cookies, cutting coupons, reading Sunday comics....and on and on. But it wasn't always easy. Money was tight, my dad wasn't the husband/father he should've been, she wasn't fulfilled....things I learned over time. And these things only made me want more for her. I wanted her to rise up and to overcome. I wanted her to live the life which it seemed had slipped thru her fingers over the years. And when the unthinkable happened and my sister died, I wanted to find some way to really fix her. To mend her forever aching heart. To let her know that it wasn't her fault; that some people cannot be saved from themselves. I wanted her to see me and I wanted to be enough to make her proud and happy again.  I wanted to scream - “be proud enough of me and love me enough for both of us”.   .... But I knew that was impossible. The hole in her heart was deeper than any ocean and nothing I, or anyone, could ever say or do would heal that eternal void. Time has filled it some but only to the naked eye. Yet, she goes on.  It was torture to watch her struggle for years and years. She struggled with her own life, which gave her a fare share of pain and hurt. She struggled with my sisters loss of life. And she literally just struggled some days to get out of bed. But she did. She dealt with it and all the while the lurking pain remained, like a lead weight she carried with her constantly. For years she was more of a shell, going through the motions.  Yet the one thing that continued to keep her going, it seemed, was how much we all really needed her.  Our lives, our joys, our struggles. She was there for all of it.  Weddings, babies, the deaths of our grandparents and our father, miscarriages, job losses, promotions, new homes, illnesses and all of our journeys have been made with her always there to lean on. We call her for recipes, ideas, advice, home made remedies, and often just to talk. 
She is the matriarch. She is the one person we have all depended on and loved and missed and enjoyed for all of our lives. 
I hope she has realized that although her life may not have gone the way she surely fantasized it could over the years, and how many can say theirs has?, I hope she knows hat her life was important. And that she is infinitely special to so many of us. She has managed to touch more lives than she even knows. I have friends who continue to remember her kindness, her inner and outer beauty, her humor, and her big heart. I've had so many tell me what I have always known: How lucky I am to have such a great mom. 
So as you can see,  I am still a mamas girl. I still fear her leaving me. I still know that no one can ever love me like she has. And the intensity of my love for her is still just as strong as it was on those nights when i was a little girl and would wake in the middle of the night paralyzed with fear that she wouldn't be there in the morning.  And I still remember my utter relief and the sense of calm I would eventually feel as she came and held me tight and assured me that she always would be. 


  • 바카라타이 https://gamja888.com 트럼프카지노먹튀

    바카라타이 https://gamja888.com 트럼프카지노먹튀

    April 13, 2022 at 02:28 AM

    mpjenwq 카심바코리아 바카라사이트 비비아이엔게이밍 더나인카지노먹튀 밀리언클럽카지노 더킹카지노먹튀 아시아게이밍 안전카지노사이트 실시간바카라 잭팟시티 포텐슬롯 트럼프카지노먹튀 오공슬롯먹튀 아시아게이밍 33카지노 카심바슬롯 스핀카지노먹튀 온라인카지노 포텐슬롯 FM카지노 슬롯머신사이트 https://gamja888.com 온라인카지노사이트 mongoangulam998 올벳게이밍 sm카지노 온라인카지노 바카라배팅노하우 카심바주소 카지노사이트 카지노사이트주소 헤븐카지노 온라인바카라 룰렛게임 포텐슬롯주소 비바카지노 모바일카지노 비바카지노쿠폰 리조트월드카지노 카지노랜드 비보게이밍 트리플슬롯 더존카지노먹튀 생활바카라 바카라하는곳 바카라타이 https://gamja888.com 트럼프카지노먹튀 온라인카지노사이트 마이크로게이밍 더킹카지노먹튀 온라인슬롯머신게임 바카라사이트 해외온라인카지노 바카라 클락카지노 온라인바카라 오공슬롯먹튀 밀리언카지노 카지노랜드 오공슬롯먹튀 온라인블랙잭 포텐슬롯 온라인바카라 메리트카지노 카심바슬롯 온라인카지노 카지노하는곳 바카라사이트 mongoangulam998 붐카지노 온라인카지노사이트 바카라사이트추천 스피드바카라 카지노사이트추천 온라인바카라 룰렛게임 카지노사이트 온라인도박사이트 카지노사이트추천 카지노블랙잭 온라인바카라 온라인카지노슬롯머신 카지노사이트 실시간바카라 슈퍼카지노 슬롯나라 해외슬롯사이트 메리트카지노 sm카지노 온라인카지노 메리트카지노먹튀 바카라타이 식보게임 온카지노 맥스카지노쿠폰 메리트카지노먹튀 코인카지노 스피드바카라 바카라타이 https://gamja888.com 트럼프카지노먹튀 우리카지노 엔젤카지노 포텐슬롯주소 에볼루션게임 리조트월드카지노 바카라사이트 메리트카지노 카지노사이트 카심바슬롯 라이브바카라 온라인바카라 비보게이밍 카지노사이트 예스카지노 온라인카지노 생방송카지노 카지노슬롯사이트 MGM카지노 마이크로게임 메가슬롯먹튀 온라인바카라게임 온라인카지노사이트 맥스카지노쿠폰 카심바슬롯 오카다카지노 모바일카지노 슬롯머신777 포텐슬롯 카지노사이트 포텐슬롯 바카라사이트 오공슬롯 탑슬롯먹튀 https://gamja888.com 카심바슬롯 온라인슬롯추천 카심바슬롯 온라인카지노 우리카지노계열 트리플슬롯 바카라잘하는방법 더나인카지노먹튀 mongoangulam998 룰렛사이트 카지노사이트주소 카지노사이트 포텐슬롯사이트 카지노쿠폰 포텐슬롯 플레이텍게이밍 블랙잭주소 에그벳슬롯 슬롯머신추천 마이크로게이밍 생방송바카라 바카라타이 https://gamja888.com 트럼프카지노먹튀 라이브카지노 온라인바카라 온라인다이사이 홈카지노 포텐슬롯주소 엔젤카지노 슬롯머신추천 오공슬롯 생방송카지노 카지노랜드 바카라사이트 우리카지노 mongoangulam998 카심바코리아 포텐슬롯 카지노룰렛 카지노랜드 비바카지노주소 해외슬롯사이트 메이저바카라 메리트카지노 바카라사이트 슬롯머신 우리카지노계열사 바카라룰 바카라이기는법 헤븐카지노 온카지노 바카라타이 https://gamja888.com 트럼프카지노먹튀 헤븐카지노 007카지노 스피드바카라 로터스게이밍 솔레어카지노 포텐슬롯 필리핀아바타 포텐슬롯 포텐슬롯 카지노룰렛 카심바주소 포텐슬롯사이트 바카라게임사이트 포텐슬롯주소 온라인바카라 다이사이게임 카지노사이트 에그벳슬롯 인터넷슬롯머신 온라인카지노사이트 더나인카지노먹튀 https://gamja888.com 우리카지노계열 슬롯머신777 온라인카지노 온라인바카라 바카라잘하는법 바카라타이 https://gamja888.com 트럼프카지노먹튀 카지노슬롯사이트 탑슬롯 세부카지노 온라인카지노 바카라게임사이트 바카라타이 https://gamja888.com 트럼프카지노먹튀 mongoangulam998 포텐슬롯 안전카지노 바카라승률 카심바주소 타이산게이밍 카지노룰렛 카심바코리아 온라인바카라 포텐슬롯사이트 온라인카지노 카심바슬롯 카지노사이트 온라인카지노 https://gamja888.com 포텐슬롯 xafxdvv

  • https://www.Instagrme.net/ - 필리핀카지노

    https://www.Instagrme.net/ - 필리핀카지노

    April 13, 2022 at 02:12 AM

    https://www.Instagrme.net/ – 맥스카지노,카지노사이트,온라인바카라,바카라사이트,인터넷카지노
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 카지노주소
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 바카라게임
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 안전카지노
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 카지노하는곳
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 카지노추천
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 비바카지노
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 라이브카지노
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 실시간카지노
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 퀸즈슬롯
    https://Instagrme.net/ – 온라인카지노
    https://Instagrme.net/onlinebaccarat/ – 온라인바카라
    https://Instagrme.net/mobilecasino/ – 모바일카지노
    https://Instagrme.net/internetslotmachine/ – 인터넷슬롯머신
    https://Instagrme.net/ourcasino/ – 우리카지노계열
    https://Instagrme.net/baccarat-strategy/ – 바카라 전략
    https://Instagrme.net/baccaratsite/ – 바카라사이트


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *