As we settle into 2017 I’m so struck by the chaos, tension, anger and general sense of desperation folks seem to be feeling. I’ve felt so much of the same even though I’m about to joyously launch my first six-month women’s group and retreat. I bear the added burden of having lost two of my beloved aunts within the last month and that has piled on to this sense of despair and desolation. They say Mercury is in Retrograde in Cancer, and while I have no idea what that means, I get some solace from that explanation and knowing that this time of chaos will perhaps end….soon!
My grief is raw and real. My aunts were fierce, warrior women, mother figures and role models to me, and a distinct and vital part of my life. Their loss has left a gaping hole in my heart and yet, all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and continue forward, knowing, trusting that this is just a part of life. Birth, death, rebirth, death, an exquisite, endless, dance of light and darkness, sadness and joy. For even as I mourn their passing and yearn to speak to, or embrace them once more, joyous and happy events continue to fill my everyday life. My daughter hears back from colleges, is being awarded scholarships, I launch my very first 6 month “Journey To Self” group and retreat, and we’re in the midst of planning my sisters wedding! It makes my head spin, this joy in the midst of pain, but it is what it is. I mourn, I weep, I laugh and am excited by all that’s to come and I’m learning to hold the lightness and darkness in balance. It is what it is!
My personal work is clearly to understand this interplay of light and dark, masculine and feminine and to explore it’s meaning in my work and play. And now more than ever to continue to do the work I’m meant to do with women, in honor of my wonderful aunts! I know they’re both with me in deep spirit and will so guide my way forward.
So here’s to a full, vibrant and meaningful 2017 to all of you. Feel free to send me gentle prods or a kick in the pants if you don’t hear from me for a while.